dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
