my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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