I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I love you. Go after that dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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