Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
