Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
