this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
