Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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