Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
