My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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