Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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