What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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