You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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