Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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