so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
