party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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