one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
