i think my tv is drunk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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