so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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