I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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