Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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