In the future we'll all be gay
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
