I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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