Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
