Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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