So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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