yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
