yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
