ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
