Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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