yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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