At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
