i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
