wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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