Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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