your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
