i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
