i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
