Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
