i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
