can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
