i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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