I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
even my farts smell like vagina
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
