O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
