Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
