Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
