So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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