hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
