If i come over, it means nothing
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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