I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
