if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
